I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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