Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
