Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
