Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
