I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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