NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
