3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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