We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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