Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
