I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize