you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
