Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
