Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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