Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
