My room smells like vodka and shame
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
