I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
