It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
