i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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