The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
