Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
