I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
