The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
