You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize