So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Still dying that you shit outside
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
