Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
