I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
