Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
