It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
