My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
