I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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