You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
