we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
