I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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