dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
