I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
