I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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