After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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