she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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