me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
