This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Are my feet made of real feet?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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