Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
