You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
