If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
