I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
