big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
