Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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