if you like me you must not know who I am
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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