weddingsv make me drug and hornr
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
