Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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