Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
