I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
