Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My dick has a subreddit
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
