Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
