where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
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