You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
