As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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