if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize