I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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