i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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