Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
