it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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