he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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